Lietenant Helga Ubermilf

Despite having sworn off intergalactic space travel in order to pursue a career in the theatre, Lt. Ubermilf reluctantly agreed to join Captain Beefheart's motley crew of space pirates. She knew without her steady, maternal hand to help guide them, the men were headed for certain death. As she was rather fond of them all, she put down her grease paint, gave up the footlights and readied herself for the adventure of her life.

Besides, someone needed to cook for them -- she couldn't leave them in Captain Beefheart's hands. He would feed them processed soy cheese!

She pulled her trunk out from under her bed, blew the dust off the top, and opened the creaky lid. She breathed in the scent of her past, and lovingly pulled her uniform from the case. It had been years since she saw it; would it still fit? She shimmied into the snug fabric of the cat suit, enjoying the feel of the silky fabric as it fell into place. A perfect fit!

She was ready. Were the rest?