Realignment

Cheyenne rambled on about power surges over the coms but everyone on the bridge had fallen silent. They were all slowly processing what had just occurred. Piebeard fell to his newly reconnected knees and his head sank low. His spiritless body was supported only by Ubermilf’s leg. She patted his head as reassuringly as she could, while wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

“So you see, Captain,” Cheyenne continued, “we’re really no worse for the wear. How would you like to…”

Ubermilf cut him off.

“Cheyenne, report to the bridge immediately.”

He protested “But the engines are…”

“NOW, Cheyenne!”

He did not protest this time he simply said, “yes ma’am” and headed for the bridge.

--

Cheyenne arrived on the bridge to find everyone silent and staring either at the captain’s chair or at nothing in particular. He walked over to Lieutenant Milf, Piebeard still heaped at her side.

“Ma’am, what’s going on? Where’s Captain Beefheart?”

She pointed to the scorch marks that permeated the captain’s chair.

“Oh. Oh God. The personnel shield fluctuations I was reading, they were his. What are we going to do?”

WhiteBoyBob stepped up, priming Stella.

“Right, while I think that decision is up to the new Captain, I vote for a sweeping, blood drenched, violent revenge.”

The meek ensign Pereira broke his usual typical silence by asking a question that was weighing heavy on everyone’s minds.

“New captain?”

Piebeard rose to his feet as everyone was now looking at him. Wiping the blood and grime from his face he looked into the eyes of everyone on the bridge. He met the gaze of Lieutenant Ubermilf, paused for a moment and then spoke.

“What are your orders, Captain?”

Pie and Milf stared stoically at each other for what seemed like an eternity and then slowly she nodded.

“Right, listen up everyone. There will be time to mourn Beefheart later, right now we need to concentrate on staying alive and getting the ship fixed. Cheyenne you get back down to engineering and you and Franklin get this boat moving as close to full speed as possible. Owl, you get on the long-range coms and find us a port not under Church control where we can drop anchor for a few days. Tao I need you to hack into the Church’s mainframe and download any and all documentation you can find on The Vatican II and get some clothes for the love of Christ. Chris you’ve got the helm, be prepared to steer us out of here at any moment. Lieutenant Pereira, you start the security checks and begin plotting our course…”

Everyone paused and looked at Anthony when she said this, he in turn was staring at Captain Ubermilf with a confused look on his face.

“We’ll have time for the promotion ceremony later, right now I need everyone to get their ass’ in gear!”

Everyone jumped right back into what they were doing. Including the new captain.

“Piebeard, you have the bridge. Bob you’re with me.” With that she took off towards the rear of the ship with WBB in tow.

--

While she and Bob were making their way to storage area of the ship, she began talking to Bob.

“Something occurred to me a little while ago.”

“Wotzat?” Bob replied

“You have a ship, don’t you?”

“Course I have a ship. A damn fine one too.”

“Take me to it. Now.” Ubermilf ordered.

After a bit more walking they entered the hangar and Ubermilf stopped in her tracks. What she was gazing on was more than a ship it was a thing of beauty. It was a one-seated death machine with a cherry on top.

“My god…” she gasped
“Allo luv.” Bob said as he stroked the ship.

Ubermilf regained her composure and began again.

“Spec it out for me Bob, I want all the details.”

With a grin Bob began, “what you see before you, Captain, is a Barracuda Class Destructor called The Doom Bringer. I have had the weapons all converted over to Ion-Plasma, with a good old-fashioned 20mm Vulcan cannon mounted below the cockpit, I have had the whole ship remolded with Gargattian Blood Steel so it can withstand quantum +6 travel…

“Quantum PLUS six?!” Ubermilf interjected

“Aye, it comes equipped with a cloaking device and an autopilot that works on a series of voice commands. Watch: cloak” - as he spoke the words the ship began to mercurially meld into the hangar “Bob spoke: On” though Übermilf didn’t hear anything she could see the exhaust from the engines make everything hazy.

“Impressive” She said.

Bob shut off of the cloaking device and engines and ushered Ubermilf to the rear of the ship. He raised the paneling on the side to reveal the quantum drive. The sleek silver and black lines of the drive were contrasted by the big red letters emblazoned on the front that read MOPAR.

“This is going to be perfect.” Ubermilf said “Your mission is a dangerous one, Bob, but I have faith that in your, ahem, capable hands it will be no problem. I need you to scout out ahead of us, I’ll have Anthony send the coordinates to your system right away but I need you to make sure the path is clear and that we will have a place to lay low when we get there.”

“Aye, luv. “ Bob strapped Stella into the cockpit and jumped in. Within seconds he was outside the airlock traveling parallel to The Beefheart. Ubermilf went back to the bridge and supplied the crew the details of Bob’s mission.

“Owl – have you found a passable star port yet?” She inquired

“I have, but you are not going to like it…” his voice quivered as he thumbed his med pack.

“What do you mean? Which port is it?”

Owl paused for a moment, fearing to speak. He rapidly pumped meds into his system

Ubermilf got stern this time “Owl…”

“It’s” Owl cringed as he said the name “The L.M.L.”

Ubermilf winced a bit, trying not to telegraph her reaction to the crew. Not being entirely successful Anthony spoke up.

“What does that mean?”

Ubermilf grimaced as she responded, “It means we’ve got to deal with Hex and The Ink Slinger, and that never ends well.”