"Piebeard's In Charge, Now..."

Piebeard was alone on the bridge contemplating steering The Beefheart into the Blue Giant that was up on the monitor, when the Prime Science Magistrate, Cheyenne, walked in.

"Where is the Captain, Piebeard?" Cheyenne said with a tinge of fear in his voice.

"Piebeard's in charge, now." Replied Piebeard, referring to himself in the third person, as his mentor and captain was apt to do.

"Great, should I ready the escape pods?"

"Belay that insult, Cheyenne, lest I throw you in the brig."

"We don't have a brig, Sir." The last word rolled off Cheyenne's tongue with contempt. He and Piebeard had had many a row since he joined the crew of The Beefheart. Piebeard didn't have any respect for science, he claimed it was all "witchcraft" whenever the opportunity presented itself.

"That's not important, what is important is that you pull up "Initiative T" and the star charts on the monitor. And summon that damnable robot to the bridge." Piebeard ordered.

"His name is Franklin"

Franklin was Cheyenne's greatest achievement. A sophisticated droid capable of translating thousands of languages, including Owl's (which everyone was sure he had made up). Franklin was also programmed to perform routine checks on the ship's computer system to ensure optimal funtionality. Piebeard refused to call him by his name and insited that he was a slight against mankind.

"Initiative T, Dammit!" The self-proclaimed captain barked.

With a groan Cheyenne punched a series of keys at his console and raised Franklin on the comlink.

Within moments Franklin The Robot was on the bridge.

"Your directives, sir?" Franklin spoke to Piebeard in a mechanical voice.

"It's about time, robot. Grab a seat a pull up a console."

"Yes Sir." Franklin did as he was told and took the co-pilot's seat.

"Are you ready over there, witch doctor?"

"Sir, I strongly suggest that you rethink this. What if we happen upon a stranded freighter or stumble into a meteor field?" Cheyenne always had a level head.

"I don't pay you to suggest, science-man. Besides, space is huge, what are the chances any of those things will happen? Nope, it's time for some Initiative T. Bring it up. Robot, are you ready to get your ass kicked?"

Franklin spoke in typical monotone, mechanical timbre; "Query not understood, please rephrase."

"That's what I thought, bitch." Piebeard's arrogance was astounding.

A sense of dread consumed Cheyenne. Whenever Piebeard had the bridge trouble always followed. Why couldn't Beefheart see past his aviators? Piebeard represented a constant danger to the crew and their mission. To say nothing of the fact that it was his idiocy that brought them altogether to begin with. But not wanting to ruffle feather's Cheyenne pulled up Initiative T on the monitor. Initiative T was, in fact, a ported version of Tetris that Piebeard had hid in the ship's computer. (With the reluctant help of The Science Magistrate)

Cheyenne took no small amount of pleasure in watching what ensued. Franklin, being the cold calculating machine he was proceeded to beat Piebeard round after round, in brutal fashion. Piebeard's rage grew stronger with each loss.

"This goddamn robot is cheating! We should have made scrap out of him months ago."

Cheyenne, snickering silently to himself, spoke: "Sir, I assure you, Franklin is incapable of cheating."

"Is that it, robot? Are you cheating? You yellow, no good..."

Piebeard's tirade was interrupted by the wailing alarms going off and a frightening jolt to the S.S. Beefheart.

Piebeard's lone thought could be heard in the ears of all Gods, past and present, and they all nodded in agreement.

"Lieutenant Ubermilf is gonna be pissed."