Something Wicked

Meanwhile, far beyond the inconceivable vastness of the cosmos, in the immeasurable depths of a darkness that existed solely to point out the impossibility of light, a timeless evil cast its soul wrenching gaze across the realm of mortal men, examining every detail of what it saw to confirm beyond all doubt what it had already known for aeons to be true.

The darkness seemed to tense, grow thicker, more granular, then ease itself apart with the finality of a dying breath, the overall effect being of an oilslick clearing its throat. A voice that would rot iron whispered:

“It is him….. the time has come.”

The blackness was suffused with an immense aching sense of loss, as another consciousness stirred, and turned its attention to the theatre of creation. Galaxies swirled to their deaths and drifted apart into interstellar dust as it paused, before it replied, sending ripples of pain through the unknowable reaches of the universe.

“That’s him, alright,” it murmered. “Let’s get the bastard”.

“No!”, replied the first voice hastily, sending a billion suns into supernova and winking countless lives out of existence. “If he dies everything is lost, remember?”

“Hells bells, if we can’t kill him then just what are we supposed to do about it? I mean we can’t just sit here, can we? We have to intercede somehow or it’s all over!”

The conciousness fiddled irritably with an ocean of agonised souls, before picking one at random and flinging it through time to the dawn of the universe, to be condemned to a void of interminable solitude before finally being reborn as a butterfly, dying moments later and returning to its master.

“Hmmm…. tricky one to call, isn’t it? I mean, we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t, if you get what -

“Is that supposed to be funny? Is it?! ‘Cos I’m not bloody laughing!”

“No, no, no, I mean we have to think about this”

“And just what do you suppose I HAVE been doing!!”

“I KNOW….!!!”

There was a pause pregnant enough to give birth to a universe, then the voice continued in a measured tone.

“I know, we’ve given the whole matter of whether we should get involved or not a lot of consideration, but we never actually decided what we would do in the event that we found him and actually had the opportunity to... you know… interfere, before he discovered the truth about it...”

“Alright. Point taken.” Another pause. “So what do you suggest?”

“We have to tread carefully here. I mean, we can’t risk being seen to be taking any undue interest in him, we mustn’t draw attention to him or to ourselves. If we give the game away, either our boys will kill him, or they’ll start interfering and he’ll end up a messiah or a prophet or whatever the kids want these days.” It sighed deeply, stripping the flesh from a hundred million rotting carcasses in their graves and blowing it to the corners of creation. “Whatever we do, we’ll need to go down there ourselves, at least to make sure no-one else gets to him.”

“Agreed. Let’s keep an eye on him.”

Back in the realms of what we arrogantly like to think of as "Reality", Beefheart, Piebeard and crew begin their quest, dreaming of untold riches while blissfully unaware of the fate that awaits them should they ever discover the truth about Blogadoon...